A Very Bad Idea
(my first one this week...)

I woke up this morning, bright and early and saw that it had snowed during the night. This is where things went horribly wrong.

I decided it would be a GREAT idea to get all my kids up and ready before 7:30, dress them in Santa hats and head out into the virgin snow to take the dreaded CHRISTMAS picture (did I mention that it's Monday morning??). If you are a mom, you will get immediately that evidently my synapses were not making proper contact this morning. The incredible part of this story is that I actually did get all my kids up, coiffed and dressed. We loaded into the van (because I have to borrow my neighbors trees anytime I want ambiance) and that's when it all started to disintegrate. I had made my plan while imagining fantasy Stepford children, pouring liberal amounts of bleach on what my reality actually is...whiny kids who have no tolerance for cold or inconvenience. Bribery worked on the older two, but my toddler isn't so corruptible yet. As soon as I got a shot ready, he'd step out of it or turn around or make his Oscar the grouch face. Meanwhile kids number one and two are screeching through clenched teeth, "Mom! Take the dang picture!" My optimism faded and I asked myself what the heck I was doing outside in the cold, on a Monday morning taking pictures of my kids (who historically speaking, compare this sort of activity with Chinese water torture). By the time we were done (two seconds later), all kids were upset, one was crying and I had pulled a muscle in my back.

Next Monday I'm hitting snooze, throwing back a Valium and sleeping for an extra two hours.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here are my Halloween pictures!

Black Belt!

Geisha Girlie

Sweet Bee...

On Halloween night, three neighborhood boys showed up with their bodies covered in peeling pink paint. Matching pig snouts and white wings completed their costumes. "The three pigs?" I asked. "Swine flu," they answered. Ah...

This, I am convinced, is how the swine flu infected my unsuspecting household. The very next day my oldest had a temperature of 103 and was laying about in atypical malaise. We even went to the hospital and had the sucky snot test to confirm that he was, indeed, H1N1 positive (called such because it wouldn't be p.c. to insult pigs). So for the next two weeks I had two kids and one spouse come down with the disease that has caused such a media frenzy. Ya know what? We all survived. But that's why you are seeing my Halloween pictures after Thanksgiving.

Mental Health Moment (warning: this post contains profanity)...

I've been insanely busy for the past month and a half. I think of things I'd like to blog about but something else more important comes up. Not more fun, just more important...like book reports, nasty colds and the stomach flu. I keep waiting for my life to "get back to normal" but then I realize, this is the new normal!

damn it...

The Colors of Summer


Blue


In the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool...
nothing like it!









...Orange

Or any other color popsicle! You gotta love a popsicle in the hands of a two year old. He's oblivious as the juice dribbles down his chin and both arms. You get in on the action when he wraps both arms around your leg for a sticky hug.

Red, White and Blue


These colors fly high all through the month of July. Around here they mean parades, hot dogs, cousins and fireworks.

And my FAVORITE color today????

the big yellow school bus

that just drove past my house

This was my mother's day gift this year (the sunflower...not the boy. I got him years ago). My son gave it to me early in May. It sat on the windowsill in the kitchen growing steadily for a few weeks. When we decided it was strong enough, we planted it outside. Holy growth spurt Batman! It went from 10 inches to five feet in a thirty day span. Do ya ever wonder what kind of steroids God puts in seeds that causes this kind of reaction? After seeing how quickly this monstrosity shot up I find myself thanking heaven for the disparity in the growth cycle of young plants and young children.
(yes, I know he needs a haircut...the boy, not the sunflower)

Happy Summer!

Our Zoo membership expired on June 30th. So, wanting to squeeze as much value out of that little piece of paper as possible we loaded up, grabbed the cousins and went...on the hottest day of summer so far.

Our Navigator...
Wild animals...beware

Cousins, and buds!

Why I don't Comment on Your Blog...

This morning, I had just finished printing out the chore chart for my oldest before Cubs when I realized I had 2 minutes and 45 seconds of free time. I decided to catch up on my favorite blogs. This is what happened next:

J: Mom...what are you doing?
Me (distracted): Leaving a comment on a blog.
J: A what?
Me: A blog.
J (patronizing): Mom...that's not how you spell 'both.'
Me: That's good because I'm trying to spell 'booth!'
J: Who is that to? What are you saying? Who is that a picture of? Why are you doing that? Do you even know who that is?
Long Mommy pause (the one where you weigh the conseqences of child endangerment)
Me (resigned): Ya know, I think I'll do this when you are unconcious.