Live From Mommyville

As part of my mother’s day gift this year, my mom gave me an all expense paid weekend to…3 hours south a’ here. With all my children. Yee-freakin’-haw.

We went down south to see my cousin get married. But as I drove with Mega Mind booming behind me and my mother snoring softly beside me, I realized the ONLY way I will ever experience an actual vacation…is if I bring along a nanny or ingest a bucket of Valium.

So I spent most of the drive with any number of self help clichés circling in my head, “You can do whatever you put your mind to!” “Attitude determines altitude!” “Don’t sweat the small stuff!” By the time we arrived I’d convinced myself this trip would live in our memories forever. I bounded out of the van…and fell flat on my face. My oldest wanted to push the luggage cart, my middle child wanted to ride on the luggage cart, the youngest ended up UNDER the luggage cart. Screams, cries, protests. Where’s the Valium?

But, surprise! surprise! (no really, I was surprised!) we ended up having a good time. I had to loosen my expectations and go where the moment took me (only once did the “moment” take me to imagining myself at the state pen where I’d be on permanent vacation for harming my children). We hung out with family, laughed, hugged and mugged it up in a photo booth at the reception. I got to enjoy my children as my oldest deftly explained sedimentary rock formations at the petroglyphs, my sweet girl entertained an indulgent staff at a steak house with a series of Christmas carols on the piano and my youngest approached everything with too much energy and an infectious grin. Regardless…I AM GLAD TO BE HOME!

Mom…next year, may I suggest Paris ?